Luck of a Salesman 1-2

Luck of a Salesman #1

“Dude it wasn’t even that bad.”

He just layed there, unconscious. His head was popped open and some sort of weird liquid dripped out of it. It was like molasses. It did not taste like molasses. I tried pushing his scalp back into place but more of that strange liquid came out and pushed it aside. Turns out it was pretty bad. Especially something like this. It would get awkward if the staff found him like this so I dragged his body off of the concrete and carried him home.

I sat him down on a chair and just stared for a bit. Then I stuck my hand into the gaping hole in his head. At first I expected to come into contact with his brain or something along those lines, but it just kept going. Then it was my entire forearm lodged in there. No matter how deep I went, there was just more of that weird liquid. Once it got to my elbow, I gave up and dragged my arm out. Now the smart option would be to take him to a doctor or contact the authorities, however I’d probably be sent to jail and I don’t intend to pay the medical bills. Luckily, the guy was a complete nobody so it’s unlikely anyone would ever look for him. He was a shady businessman who sold busted up cars and bikes for ludicrous prices.

“Businessman, huh?”

I stood back up and put my hand up to my chin. Then I started brainstorming out loud.

“Hm. Rejuvenation Goop…No that wouldn’t work. Nobody would put this stuff on their skin. Maybe a new sort of drink? Too thick. What about a sort of bathwater? Eh. It would probably get you more dirty than anything. What if I made it into a candle? Though, I doubt it would smell any good.”

I kept going on and on for a few hours. Eventually, I hit a wall and just gave up for the night. I know there’s a way to make this profitable, I just have to figure out how.

Luck of a Salesman #2

So it’s been a week now. He still hasn’t moved or anything. What’s crazy is that his heart is still beating so I guess he’s still alive? Since then, I’ve dropped a few items in the hole to see what would happen. As it turns out, not much. It just sinked in the liquid and I wasn’t able to pull anything back out. I’ve lost my favorite mug because of it. I actually stuck an entire broom in there. I eventually settled on using it as a morally ambiguous trash can. Apart from that, my brainstorming has been pretty much fruitless.

I sat slumped on my couch next to him and opened the TV. A news segment was playing, it was about some old scientist discussing the progress made in AI technology. I almost fell asleep, but immediately started focusing again once he mentioned a new prototype robot he was working on called M.O.K.O. Forgot what it stood for, but I didn’t couldn’t care less about the actual robot.

“-This is incredible, Doctor. Valora! Do you mind elaborating on what use these robots have?”

The doctor clears his throat.

“-Not at all. This M.O.K.O prototype has a main function related to health care. You see, a new illness has recently surfaced and has hit an alarming number of people all around the globe, including my own daughter.”

As he says that, the footage shifts to a shot of a girl with the top of her head blurred out. However I could immediately tell that she’s in the same sort of situation as the guy next to me.

“-My hope is these robots are eventually able to find a cure for this new illness and others in the future.”

The footage then cuts back to the doctor next to the robot. It is covered with that strange liquid.

“I apologize for the mess… M.O.K.O has been conducting a few experiments lately and we haven’t had the time to clean them up.”

As he says that, I immediately point at the screen and shout: “HE’S STICKING THE ROBOTS IN THE GOOP!”

I jump out of the couch and start gathering some rope in the shed. I attach it to a random table and then throw the end of it in the head hole. I hold my breath and start sinking down in the goop.