The Dealer

Dealer
I can feel the money flying out of my pocket already.
Information
Aliases	Dennis, Dennis Dealer
Theme	Dealer's Gambit
Voice Actor	Mikedawina

The Dealer is an NPC in Rabbit Hole, you have a random chance of encountering his room as a special room. He gives the player a choice to accept or decline a blurse. A blurse (a portmanteau of "blessing" and "curse") has two effects on a player's run: a beneficial effect and a detrimental effect.

Lore

Before the events of Rabbit Hole, Dennis was a shady businessman that used to sell "busted up cars and bikes for ludicrous prices". His head then popped and he was transported to the Rabbit Hole. Shed uses his head as a means to get into the Rabbit Hole and "as a morally ambiguous trash can".

In game, he offers the player blurses. When playing as Shed, Dennis expresses disdain for her and, if playing meeting him for the first time, gives her The Contract.

"The door is locked... There are 3 locks remaining."

The following information contains spoilers. Discretion is advised.

In the Shed ending, he escapes with her in a yellow car. He offers her a deal to "never see eachother again". The player has two choices in this ending:

• Kick Dennis in the cahonas and steal his sunglasses.
• Enter the train without Dennis.

Either way, Dennis is screwed.

Blurses

Dennis offers the player blurses which affect their runs. Each blurse has a blessing component and a curse component. Blessings benefit the run while curses make the run harder in some way.

REMEMBER! BLESSINGS ARE APPLIED FIRST, THEN CURSES

The following tables show all possible blessings and curses with a description with what they do along with an (objective) 4 star rating of how beneficial or detrimental they are. Any blessing or curse without a description is fairly self explanatory.

Blessings

★ = Okay... I guess

★★ = Not too bad...

★★★ = Hey! That's pretty good!

★★★★ = Thank you Dennis for saving the run.

Blessing	Description	Rating
"I fully heal you"		★★
"I give you a double jump"		★
"I give you 99 coins"		★★★
"I increase your damage"	Increases your bonus damage multiplier by 75% of your total damage multiplier	★★★
"I let you run faster"	Increases both your max speed and acceleration by 50%	★
"I let you jump higher"	Changes the player's initial Y-velocity from 7 to 10	★
"I let you reload faster"	Decreases reload time by 50%	★★
"I double the ammo on all guns"		★★
"I greatly increase your melee damage"	Permanently increases your melee damage by 50%	★★★
"I lower the health of all enemies"	Decreases enemy health by 30%	★★★
"I give you a new pair of snazzy sunnies"		★
"I permanently increase your health by 5 points"		★★★
"I make enemies drop more coins"	Increases the player's gold multiplier by 3*	★★★★
"I lower the shop prices in the next floors"	Decreases the shop prices by 50%	★★★★
"I make floors smaller"	Decreases the room size by $3\times$ the floor number, giving every floor a room count of 8.	★ or ★★★ (less money but better time)
"I give you a second life"		★★★★
"I give you 5 random guns"		★★
"I increase the knockback of your melee attacks"		★
"I make chests drop 2 weapons"		★★
"I double the damage of your guns"		★★★★
"I upgrade your guns"		★★★

Curses

★ = That's it? (this could even help in some cases)

★★ = Bit of a challenge but ok...

★★★ = Oof... that hurts.

★★★★ = Basically suicide.

Blessing	Description	Rating
"Your health is lowered to 1"		★★
"You cannot jump anymore"		★★★★
"You cannot roll anymore"		★★★★
"You cannot do melee attacks anymore"		★★★
"Your speed is halved"		★★★
"Your weapons are randomized every room"		★★★
"Enemies do double damage"		★★
"Enemies have more health"		★★
"Shop prices are doubled on the next floors"		★★★
"All guns you pick up explode"	Trying to grab a gun destroys it and damages you	★★★ (★★★★ if looping)
"Your max health is halved"		★ - ★★★ (depends on health)
"Gun ammo is halved"		★★
"You lose all your coins"		★ - ★★★ (depends on coins)
"You will explode at a random moment"	Every 10 seconds, there is a 4% chance you will explode and die	★★★★
"All enemies are now invisible"		★★★★
"Your healthbar is invisible"		★
"You get less coins from enemies"	Player Gold Multiplier is decreased by 50%	★★★
"You might die instantly"	50% chance to instantly die.	★ or ★★★★
"You cannot see the map anymore"		★
"I double the size of floors from now on"		★
"You cannot move left anymore"	You can still roll left	★★★★
"I summon the wrath of God"	Between 1 - 5 seconds, you will be struck by lightning	★★★★

Dialogue

Making a deal While playing as Shed  • Oh no, it's you again  • Here's the deal  • [[Random Blessing]]  • But!  • [[Random Curse]]  • ...howza bout it? Accepting the deal Good, now scram. Declining the deal (Randomly selected from following)  • Shake off.  • Get away from me. While playing as anyone else  • Hey Kid, I got a deal for ya!  • [[Random Blessing]]  • But!  • [[Random Curse]]  • ...Howza bout it? Accepting the deal Attaboy! Declining the deal (Randomly selected from following)  • It's your loss.  • Put a pin in it.  • Sucks to suck. Talking after the deal While playing as Shed  • No. I'm not gonna be your dog.  • You shouldn't be here.  • Your nametag should be Peg Down.  • I'm filing a restraining order.  • I'm suing you for therapy costs.  • That's the last deal I'll ever give you.  • My lawyer fears you.  • Are you mentally okay?  • And I thought Disc was the messed-up one.  • Kick the bucket.  • Hit the road Jack.  • I'm gonna put a hit on you.  • You should use the Bad Idea.  • Tu eres pendejo.  • You stink.  • I'm straight. But for you, I'm gay.  • I'm never dropping the soap again.  • Hello? 911? This is Dealer. I need help.  • I need an adult.  • AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  • I am a cardboard cutout of Dealer.  • Make me a sandwich.  • You built different.  • Suck it chainsaw woman.  • Uh no, dealer out.  • I don't swing that way.  • You walk around with that thing?  • You are not a baddie.  • I hate your tacky horns.  • You disgust me.  • You taste weird.  • We're never doing that again. While playing as anyone else  • And remember, no refunds!  • Ya like jazz?  • I wonder where I went wrong in life.  • Extra! Dealer Takes Advantage Of Naive Kid.  • Shopkeep kinda bad tho.  • Next deal is 50% off.  • This'll be interesting.  • Can you get the shopkeeper's number?  • Bro, your shopkeep is hot.  • Any singles looking to mingle?  • I can't see out of these things.  • I miss my uncle.  • How was the fall?  • I miss Mathew.  • Y'know where the Jon is?  • Wanna play goldfish?  • Hahahahaha! Short.  • You wanna see something funny?  • Are those things legal?  • Do those titty toms squeak?  • Still unoriginal as always I see?  • Hit the road Jack.  • Where'd my shoes go?  • What? You wanna sip?  • I'm thirsty.  • Woman are real?  • You want some candy?  • What's your opinion on my hot summer bod?  • My father left me.  • Time to say something controversial.  • Tu eres payaso.  • I don't know how to speak Spanish.  • Hey I have an idea! Nevermind.  • I love mac n cheese.  • I hate mac n cheese.  • Hey! Pour me a pint.  • Where does she get that milk from?  • Tax fraud? Here's a tip! Don't.  • I could kill for some mac n cheese right now.  • K.Y.S. Keep Yourself Safe!  • I can't speak English.  • Is this my good side?  • You're mean.  • Wow, you're still wearing that thing?.  • What am I?  • I'm straight, thank you for asking.  • What's in my pants? Fresh deals.  • What do you call grass? Water.  • Hey... psst. Can you give me a dollar?  • Heheheheheheheheh.  • You smelly.  • Where are my socks?  • I wish I had a family.  • What is the meaning of life?  • All these deals and still no maidens...  • This ain't blueberry milk?!  • I want Shopkeep's milk.  • Maybe I could open up a cafe.  • Pleasure making deals with you. Meeting with Shed Encountered for the first time  • Look who decided to show up.  • (gives the contract Shed signed with the M.O.K.O. project) You better share.

Trivia

• The Dealer technically does not have a canonical name. But Mikedawina named him "Dennis" and it stuck.